Dear Army

I have a few requests.
First of all, we had a bit of a cold snap here last week, which reminded me that I hate the cold. It was very cold. Heavy coats and gloves were required and I lose things way too often to need so many layers in a single outing. These last few days though have been lovely. I am hereby requesting that you move our family to a location of a similar climate. I'd prefer for 50-75% of the year to be between 70 and 80 degrees, and the remaining 25-50% to be between 80 and 90 degrees. The average high should not involve heat stroke, and the average low should not include mittens.

Next up is your apparent procrastination. You've really got to work on this. I'm making an effort, I think you can do the same. There really is no reason why it should take the next eight months for you to decide whether Xander can be treated in Germany or not.
Let me simple it up for you: He needs to see a urologist once a year. Now, there are three military urologists in Germany and their priority is active duty members, and they mainly see wounded soldiers. So question one is, is it reasonable to assume that they'd be able to fit us in? If so, great. If not, the logical next question is whether we can use German doctors. This gets tricky because they don't treat kidney reflux the same over there, and the best bet is to just say no in this case (too complicated to detail here). So the next question is, can we just come home to the US once a year for these tests? If not, then you stamp a big "denied!" on our forms and we go back to the drawing board on our assignment.
IS that really so hard? If I can detail it in 3 minutes (and field two phone calls at the same time) then surely you can do it in less than eight months. Seriously.

Finally, there is a serious communication flaw when I get a phone call from lovely woman A saying that she got an email from 1st Perscomm letting them know that the people in EFMP in Germany say there's some information missing from my file, and that I need to contact EFMP here to see what the deal is... and then when I call the lovely woman B at EFMP she has to get lady A's number so she can call her and find out what the deal is, then calls me back to say she'll talk to her supervisor, Mr C, so that he can talk to 1st Perscomm and see what is missing. How bout you all just give me the number to 1st Perscomm and let me sort it out? Seriously.

Love (or, in this case, annoyedly),
Kelly