ADHD and Me

I keep meaning to write about ADHD and my experiences with it, so far. I've got some free time, so here goes. Actually, I have things I need to do - but I'm a procrastinator.
I was diagnosed in the first grade. Apparently I made my teacher a bit crazy. The school counselor (I found out years later) used to observe me in the classroom, in the lunchroom, and on the playground. She said that I never stopped moving. I also used to get to leave class to go hang out in her office. I thought it was great fun. I figured I was pretty cool, because they let me skip class to go color! One day in AP Psych, we were watching a video on ways that they get info out of kids and it dawned on me that all that time I thought they let me skip class because I was so cool, she was really analyzing me. I was put on Ritalin. I don't remember having any weird side effects. After 2nd grade though, Mom took me off of it and never put me back on it. Knowing my 3rd grade teacher, I'd bet that he told her he was very willing to work with me instead of insisting on meds. He was a great teacher, and I always look back at that being one of my best years. I guess he did a good job of channeling the excess energy. Plus he had several of those desks with 3 walls that seperates you from everyone else, and he rotated the class through them as necessary. I probably spent half the year in one. I liked it though - I could also get away with playing in class with those walls up!
I didn't really think much about ADHD growing up. In fact, I think I first learned that its what I had when I started driving. I noticed that I zoned out sometimes. You readers who have ridden with me - I assure you I learned to pay attention. Not only that, but I am certain that none of my many wrecks in 1996 were caused by my zoning out. One of them wasn't even my fault! And the rest were probably Adam's fault. He was probably distracting me. He was with me for one of my "real" (reported to the cops) wrecks, the red light I ran later that day, and the other student's car that I bumped into that night in the school parking lot that we never told him about. And when I nearly ran off the road once and then not 5 minutes later when FLYING over some railroad tracks, creating a not-so-pleasant smell - all in an effort to get him home by midnight. Its a wonder they let him ride with me, ever. (notice my inability to stay on topic?)
So anyway, one day I'm driving along, and I might have mentioned to my mom that I'd kinda zoned out. She said she wasn't suprised, it was because of my attention disorder. My WHAT??? I have a disorder? I just thought I was "hyper" - that's all I'd ever heard. And thats how I found out I had ADD or ADHD or whatever you want to call it. By the way - do you know that technically, ADD is the old term, they added the H in later. Technically speaking, they are not 2 seperate disorders. But our society has kind of made it into 2 seperate ones - you have ADD if the hyperactivity isn't an issue, ADHD if it is. But really, its just one disorder and like with many disorders, you may not show ALL of the signs. If you do, you're known as "Demon Spawn."
I guess I'd learned to cope on my own, drug free. Looking back, I wish I HAD been on drugs in high school. I have always suffered from a pretty severe lack of motivation, and it is caused by the ADD. How can I get motivated to do anything if I can't even stay focused on it for 5 minutes? Why waste the energy? SO I rarely bothered with homework, or I'd put it off until during one of my other classes. I used to have a great paper-writing-schedule. I had English 3rd period. I'd already read the book, we read it together in class, and discussed it daily. So I'd get my idea for the paper and think it over the day before it was due. Then in first period, I'd write the rough draft. In second period, I'd proofread and then copy it over neatly. Ta da! It was brilliant. Unfortunately, that killed me when I hit college. I did okay my first year - it was my senior year of high school and I went to the community college 30 minutes down the road for half a day and went to the high school for 2 classes. I had to finish up my foreign language requirements, or else I wouldn't have gone to the high school at all that year. But you couldn't just do 1 class, it was all high school, all college, or half and half. And somehow, half equalled 2 classes at the HS. So thats why I added on AP Psych. Well, I did great that year.
The next year, the first semester went okay. I was at a small Baptist college, majoring in Christian Ministries. The school required everyone to take some basic religion classes, so I got those out of the way, I think one upper level religion course, and probably another core or two thrown in there. I think I took sociology that semester. The next semester, I took 3 upper level religion courses. I knew at the start of the classes, that on the last day, I would have a 15-30 page paper due for each of them. I started on them LESS than a week in advance. I had to beg for an incomplete in one and finish it up over the summer. Oh, I was stressed!
I think that was the real start of my ADD problems again. For a long time I hated it - because it just seemed like maybe I was lazy. But i WANTED to get on the right track, I just couldn't. My brain wouldn't let me.
I go through cycles of doing great and losing it. For some reason, its always worse in the fall. It got pretty bad again about 2 years ago. I was just having a rough time in general. I started researching all my symptoms and totally freaked out and thought I wsa bipolar. I was talking to a then-friend, and she told me to quit freaking and go check out the symptom list for adult ADHD. I thought she was crazy. ADHD just means you can't pay attention and/or are hyper. I, however, seemed to have major issues. I read the symptom list. All of mine were there. More I hadn't really thought about were on the list, and they sounded like me too.
I went to the doctor and he agreed that I had issues but he felt that it was stress related because I must hate living here. I love living here. He recommended counseling, I never went. I got better.
The past several months have been kind of like that time 2 years ago. I just can't get my brain to work right. It doesn't matter how hard I try - my brain won't do what I tell it to do. I could list thousands of examples, but this is long enough already. I read another article a while back about adults with ADHD. It was so weird, because the article described me completely, and so accurately. Thats when I decided I had to try some meds. I couldn't just keep going, trudging along trying to make it work and failing. But the side effects just weren't worth it. This is day 3 off of them, and I feel so much better. I'm hoping these supplements will work. I'm also glad I found out about them for another reason. Michael has it too. And the Army isn't real big on having the soldiers take mind altering drugs. They're pretty anti that. SO if he could take these, it would help him out a ton. Of course what sucks, is that I can get prescriptions filled for free, but I pay a fortune for these suckers. I"ll be shopping around for better deals online in coming weeks, before this supply runs out.
So - my tips for Strattera - if you're going to try it, be ready for some side effects. Everyone I've talked to has had them. Stock up on healthy, filling breakfast foods and eat breakfast before taking the meds.
My list of natural stuff I'm trying now - Inositol, GABA, and Omega 3's (from a plant source, not fish oil which sounds disturbing).