I think I've titled one other entry something similar or even the same, but oh well.
I want you to know that my lack of blogging has little to do with lack of material and rambly thoughts, and more to do with lack of time and 4 kids. It's easier to post a quip on facebook than to tell the whole story on here. I'm told that's why my mom joined facebook - because I wasn't blogging so much anymore.
It would take weeks to sum up the 2 months since I last wrote. I'm not sure that I have any readers who aren't also on facebook, but just in case, I'll nutshell it up real fast for you:
Week before Thanksgiving - Great Wolf Lodge for a night, then down to GA na week and a half to visit family "before he deployed."
Nov 30 - Got word that he'd be leaving later than planned. Like, maybe the end of the month instead of mid-month.
Over the course of the next couple weeks, that turned into "sometime in January" and then, "Maybe at the end of Jan or early Feb" and then, "hopefully by April," to "April at the earliest." It was about that time that it was understood that this was all wishful thinking on the part of his superiors. The gist of it is - officially, there was never any plan for his platoon to go, but it seems that even his boss never knew. Instead, somewhere at least a couple levels up on the chain of command, it was planned that his platoon would be staying behind. So, no deployment.
But wait! Maybe they will deploy! Because they'll be working alongside the 82nd, and if the 82nd goes anywhere, Michael's platoon will go with them. So, we've been planning this year knowing that nothing is definite.
Unless you live in a cave somewhere with no contact with the outside world, you know that there was an earthquake in Haiti on Tuesday. The 82nd is going to help.
Everyone reacts to situations in different ways. No reaction is wrong (well, I suppose some might be), because we're all looking at it from different perspectives. I've got friends who are absolutely hating that their husbands are on this mission. I understand how they feel, but I'm in a totally different place right now.
I can think back to a mere two months ago, and feel the dread that I felt at that time. Knowing what we were facing, trying not to think about it because it was too overwhelming. Knowing I'd be left home alone, knowing what sort of situation he was heading into, remembering just how well things went the last time he was away for an extended period... it was all just too much to think about. It hurt too much to focus on it. I knew that no amount of dread would make it any different, so I chose to just ignore it, do what I could to make our last few weeks happy and memorable, and take it one day at a time. Then, gradually over those first two weeks of December, that weight was lifted. He wasn't going. Maybe he'd be able to join them later in the year, but that would be a short-term deal. Maybe he'd deploy with the 82nd, but there was no plan for them to go anywhere, so we didn't actually anticipate that he'd be leaving. But we knew that if he did, it would be a short notice sort of deal.
So then, the earthquake. I didn't think much of it that night. Michael and I didn't even talk about it. I didn't think about it when he got an early morning phone call, telling him to come in asap. Then he sent me a text message.
Rewind a bit. So, sometime not long before we met, Michael's sister Charity took him to a prayer meeting where there was some guy who was said to be a prophet. He anointed Michael with oil, and told him he'd travel to Guatemala and Haiti. Then we met, and then I was planning my third trip to Guatemala with our church, and asked if he wanted to go. I can remember, he almost said no because he didn't want to prove that guy right, but he went. "But I'm not going to Haiti!" he said.
So, not long after that text message, he called. "Hey, you remember the prophet?" Oh, how I laughed.
So all that leads up to how I look at this mission. I spent the last year preparing myself for him to go to Afghanistan. To go to a combat zone, specifically to a region that is a major part of the war, and where there's no shortage of resistance. That's what I spent the last year knowing he'd be facing. It's a war. It's dangerous, and we worry for their safety and because we know they'll be forever changed from the things they have to see and do. I worry about the effect that war has on soldiers - how it impacts them psychologically to attack other people. To go from, 2 months ago facing that, to now seeing him prepare to leave for Haiti to help in whatever way they can to provide aid to a tiny country that has been devastated... it's a relief.
He'll be helping people, not shooting at them. His platoon was left behind to join the 82nd, with their stated mission as "GRF" - global reaction force. In other words, if something big happens in the world, they react. They're left behind, with us scratching our heads at how quickly plans change, and less than 2 weeks after the rest of the battalion leaves, something big happens in the world.
I don't even know if all my rambling makes sense. But from my perspective, he was spared the task of going to war. If he got to spend this whole year home with us, that would be great. But I can't really complain that he's going to Haiti. Instead, I turn on the news to help the kids understand that the people of Haiti need him more than we do right now. So, yes, I'm more than okay with him going. I'm glad that he's going. He gets to go to Haiti. He gets to do something that is, without a doubt, good. It's an opportunity.
And maybe that prophet was just a crazy guy who happened to be right. But I can tell you that when I think about his upcoming mission, I feel nothing but peace.
Well, maybe not "nothing" but peace, because come on, I have 4 kids and he just brought home a drum set. And I do also realize that he's probably going to see some horrific things that are sure to leave some psychological scars, too. But I think the good far outweighs the bad, and I know it's all going to be okay.
I also really hope that they're not gone too terribly long.
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