Home sick again today, but then feeling better in the afternoon, he decided that it was Tooth Extraction Day. He was determined to get that sucker out. After much pulling and twisting and yanking and string-tying and blood wiping, it came out.
He got $5 for the first one, which I then borrowed back from him. (what? I needed some cash and was out!) I told him that the $5 was a one time deal, and that it would be a dollar from there on out. He's pretty sure he gets a total of $10 now, and has entered into negotiations with me. He doesn't realize that I'm not negotiating. After I told him that he was only getting $1 for that tooth, he reclaimed the tooth. He says, "If I'm not getting ten bucks, then you don't get a tooth!"
"Fine," I say, "you can have no dollars instead."
"Yeah, but then you don't get my tooth. And because my first one got lost, this is your first opportunity."
He says all this, with a mushy tone, as if I'm the kind of mother who would truly mourn the loss of her kid's tooth. Dude, seriously, it'll end up in the trash eventually, and as often as we move, it would probably be sooner rather than later. I'll live without your tooth.
Then he tried to stick it back in.
I think he lost it now. I suspect it's in his pocket. I'll find it in the lint trap and claim it as my own and cackle to him about how I got it, and he can't have his money.
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