Who kidnaps Aaric and replaces him with some other kid every morning after I drop him off?

We got Aaric's first report card and it's quite impressive. Ever the proud (and validation-hungry) mama, I was suprised that he didn't get any E's, especially after he'd told me that she said he knew so much that they'd have to start him on some first grade work. E = Exceeds Expectations. M = Meets Expectations.
Aaric recieved all M's in the following categories: Speaking, Listening, Writing, Reading, Math, Science, Social Studies, Art, Music, and PE. Then for the Learning Skills portion, they got numbered 1-3, with 1 meaning "Consistenly Observed." He got all 1's in the following categories: Accepts responsibility for behavior, takes initiative, participates in activities, is prepared for class, respects the rights of others, uses time effectively, works cooperatively. Comments: Aaric is currently meeting all grade level expectations. He has mastered the reading readiness and math skills that have been presented. He is a wonderful, happy student, who is self-motivated. Keep working on telephone number.

So, while the one half of my brain says "MEETS??? How about a few E's, lady?" The other half of my brain is laughing harder than it's ever laughed before at the notion of Aaric using time effectively and being self-motivated. Seriously, I've never seen evidence of that. I need to set up a video camera in the mornings and show it to her and ask her if that's what she calls "effective use of one's time."
No, really, I'm thrilled that he's doing so well. He really is reading. Not big words, but small ones.